Missing you!

Anna 4 wks you enter and left our life.....Still pretty much feels like today.  How many mask can one wear I don't know but we are getting a good collection of them, I am afraid.  true fact of reality our family and life will never be what it use to be and if there was a normal it is far gone now.  Time they say is what you need to heal, how   much time no one can tell you.

All I can say is:

Missing you

Not one minute goes by we don't think of you!
Not one day goes by we don't look at your pictures
Not one morning goes by we don't say good morning to you
Not one night goes by we don't say good night to you
Not one moment goes by we don't wish you were here with us
Not one moment goes by we don't wish we could kiss and hold you again
Not one moment goes by that we don't wish we could have saved you
Not one moment goes by that we don't love you.
we will love you  till the end of time.

I look at your brothers and my heart breaks as I know you will never get to do all the things they are doing, We won't hear you laugh...the list goes on!!!!!
People say to be thankful we had the time with you that we did!!!  the 30 minutes of life, the hours after you past before it was finally time to say our final goodbye.  God we miss you!!!  One day I hope the pain of that day and our future without you won't hurt so much and we can remember our time together in a beautiful special time.
Dad brought you home a week or so ago, not the way we wish it could be but you are finally home with us. We love you always!!!

Anna Isabelle Flynn We love you!!!

Anna Isabelle Flynn born February 26,2012 8:25am Past away February 26,2012 9:00 am.  We love you always and miss forever! 
*picture of Anna at the end of post don't scroll all the way down if you don't want to see her!


Our Angel
Anna Isabelle Flynn
12.9oz 10 inches long
February 26, 2012


It's been two weeks today!!! Feels like it happened this morning!


Well this post might have too much truth for some but there are some things I just don't want to hear from anyone after this devastating event that has taken place with our family.  We were hit with a parents worst nightmare.  We were losing and  lost our daughter and there is nothing that can be done to stop it or bring her back.  I am not going to go into detail here at all.  I don't want to and it too hard to keep going over it, even though in my head it is on constant reply.

Anna was beautiful, she was innocent, she was pure however we could not save her. No matter how hard we try to hold on to her and not let her go.  I have to say ppl talk about miracles and hope well those to things have been crushed for us.  The boys will never see their sister and not till they are older will they know about her.  We didn't want them to hurt like we are.  Leaving L&D floor with a box and not a baby is pretty un- bearable

Now there are some things that I don't want to hear from anyone not strangers, friends and not family at all.  The main one is and it has already been said and it took all my might not to respond.

1., We don't want to hear well you are blessed with 3 beautiful boys!!! Really you don't think we don't know this. That for the last 5yrs I wasn't aware that I have 3 wonderful boys serious??!!  However that doesn't change the fact that we have lost another child.  It doesn't matter that we lost her now or if it was months, yrs after birth.  we lost a child.  Would you tell us if we lost one of the boys now that "well you are still blessed with 2 healthy beautiful boys".  Would you want to hear that the child you just lost you weren't blessed to have?????.

2.or Well it is better it happen now than later...don't even go there.  If you never had a lost early or late(even thought I have to say from personal experience losing Anna is harder than some of our others losses for me)  Till you lose someone you won't know how it feels.  Losing anyone hurts, but out living your child is completely different pain than I have ever felt after losing someone. This pain isn't even something you can truly imagine either. To have life in you, to feel it move, to hear it's heart, to hold that life, to kiss that life with your bare lips etc. and than have it taken away!!!  You are changed forever!!!!!!!!!

We have 4 beautiful children not three But 4 and some reason we didn't get option to live a long life with Anna but she is still our child and always will be.


I will stop here b/c it pain full and writing when emotional is not always a good thing for me! but I needed to write about Anna our beautiful daughter who we love!!!

Anna with her baptism bracelet